Finding Your Balance
What does Balance mean to you & more importantly what does it feel like to you?
It’s taken me quite some time & some tough lessons to work out what balance feels like to me. I’m thinking a good 20 years!
I’ve always been ‘a hard worker’, which when I was younger didn’t really impact me, or my lifestyle, or my health.
But as I got older, that ‘work hard: play hard’ mentality caught up to me.
I ended up in a role (which I loved) but working 70+ hours some weeks, travelling (again I loved) interstate and across the globe, My family and closest friends were all a plane ride away. And I’m a super social person, so not having plans every minute of every weekend, coffee/brunches/drinks/dancing/ yoga/catchups, was unheard of.
What changed.. ha well I caught myself some Glandular Fever. Pretty much wiped me out.. My stress levels were off the chart, my nervous system was in need of deep repair & I was pretty lost/unhappy/faking it a little. I was receiving acupuncture twice weekly to calm my nervous system, I was one worrying thought away from being diagnosed with chronic fatigue; something I didn’t have time to have. I was in a state of constant stress, most of that stress I bought on myself, whether it was the fear of failure, not being good enough, not wanting to let anyone down, friends, family, work, I had people counting on me to show up and give my all…. I thought.
More than once, I did the one thing my doctor said not to do, well a few things, but this one always had the worst impact on me.. when I felt better, not yawning and exhausted, for more than 5 minutes, I’d go out. I’d do the grocery shopping for example, or go to bunnings, I’d wake up at 3am and feel 100%, so I’d jump onto my laptop & answer emails, do the work… then I’d get myself breakfast… then fall in a heap.. and not just for the day… for days. I would be wiped, bed ridden, body aches, it hurt my eyes to focus some days. And for the social butterfly in me.. the only place I had energy for was my cocoon.. shit it was terrible.
I took some time off, filled myself with as much vitamin C as my system could handle. I found restorative yoga & yoga nidra.. I read a lot of books, I reduced sugar in my diet, I started walking of a morning..
I started to feel more awake & alive.. and I started to come back to myself a little.
I started to take ownership of my time, MY TIME. My time became really sacred to me. I began putting ‘me’ first. And the practices that I adopted that saved me from all that fatigue: they became my self care practice: before self care was a ‘thing’. This was my turning point. Ohh and learning a new way of working. That took reading more books, working out that on a Monday, having 12+ hours of actual work to do and tried insanely to do it in 8 hours (week after week). I mean ffs: that was the first ahh haa moment. Writing a To-Do list: adding time frames to it.. and realising why I always started my week on the back foot, ahhh because Carly, you give yourself 8 hours & have 12 hours of stuff to do…I laugh about it now. but at the time, when I figured it out: mind blown!!
I realised that I actually could do my job (very successfully) in a normal working week. I made yoga a non-negotiable on a Wednesday + Friday nights. I stopped taking two phones to breakfast on the weekend. I invested time in my team and new that they could manage their stores & I didn’t have to hold their hands: they were all so awesome & shoot, we were an awesome team. I taught myself how to work in my own flow & the results were impressive.
I’ve totally got myself side tracked. Maybe this post needs a title change, I mean I haven’t even gotten to the ‘BALANCE’ stuff yet. But I think the backstory is where the magic happens.. You don’t just want the answers from me.. I find I learn by going on a journey with someone. As I’m writing this, I’m taken straight back there. I feel the tension in my shoulders, and the worry in my stomach.. And I look at myself now & think how far I’ve truly come.
This was the catalyst to a whole new way of living for me. The fork in the road if you will.
It must be almost 10 years ago that I was that sick. And that person that put everything before herself is such a distant memory.
I mean I’m not selfish: but I make such different choices.
That sacred time of mine that I learnt to create & allow, turned into holding sacred space for groups of people. That building a trusting and supportive, well skilled team took me to becoming a life coach for women. That putting myself first, took me to diving into who I truly wanted to be & making that my focus. That spending time inward took me to realising that I was miserable in my marriage and so decided to leave someone who had been in my life for 19 years. That heart break gave me the courage to start living the life I’d independently dreamed of. That courage allowed me to make the tough decision to leave a city I loved, work I loved and friends I deeply adored. And all of that has landed me here today, writing for you, starting CRYSTAL CLUB, building a community, balancing two work-lives, & loving every minute of it.
Hahaha… there you go, there is the balance…
My Best Friend is a yoga teacher and recently in her class Jus talked about balancing poses and said something along the lines of: practising these poses gives you the grounding/stability to move through life… it stuck with me & so I’ve asked her to write some words on balance for us this month.. Funnily enough: Justines words also took a funny turn about Balance..
Perhaps this is just a beautiful story of balance = flow = going with it=being open to whatever the outcome is!
From Justine:
Yoga is a beautiful way to enhance our lives. It is a practice for our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies combined. We must remember, however, that life is ever changing and the true art of yoga teaches us to maintain both inner and outer balance throughout life’s ups and downs.
Physical balance in yoga is the ability of the body to maintain a given posture without tumbling over.
Mental balance, on the other hand, refers to maintaining inner peace of mind regardless of outside circumstances.
The yoga lifestyle teaches us to embrace both forms of balance as a means to a healthy and fulfilling life.
Balance can feel amazing when it’s on point, but terrible when we experience a loss of it. When our balance is working for us, our confidence flourishes, our minds feel satisfied, and our bodies empowered. But when our balance is missing, a cluster of feelings can arise beyond what we want to experience. As our balance slips away, we find ourselves questioning everything. But we must remember that no-one is perfect, even your teacher - we all experience loss of balance, both on and off the mat, from time to time. It is part of the ebb and flow of life, and this ebb and flow is experienced in all parts of our life... Breath in, breath out. Hot, cold. Yang, Yin. Full, empty. Active, passive. Hard, soft. Flowing, stillness. Birth, death.
If we pay attention to the world we live in, we can really tune into the ebb and flow that is happening all the time. Nothing ever truly stays the same. By the time you finish reading this blog post, you and the world you are a part of will be different. Sometimes the cycle is short, like the space between an inhale and an exhale, but sometimes the cycle takes a little longer - like the months from Autumn, through Winter and into Spring. Nothing is permanent, everything changes, and how we deal with the notion that sometimes we feel balanced and wonderful and at other times, unbalanced and flat determines the lense through which we see our lives - as a blessing or as something to endure.
If we look to nature, as an example, you would have noticed that the trees have recently started to sprout new life, new growth - the cycle continues.
Trees offer us so much in terms of life sustaining resources like oxygen, food and shelter to name a few. Life on earth would be impossible without trees. But apart from these resources, trees can also offer us a wealth of knowledge. There is so much we can learn simply by looking at a tree and how it lives.
Take care of yourself, first.
Be grounded, no matter how successful you become.
Spend time in stillness.
Remember that challenges are here to make you stronger.
There is immense power within you.
Take time to be present and just be.
Let go of perfectionism.
Be happy without a reason.
Let go of things that do not serve you.
Small actions can create big changes.
Be patient - good things come with time.
Be willing to let go of resistance.
As a yogi, although sometimes it's more challenging than others, I try to allow myself to see and feel the light of living. It can get us out of our attachments of the external world, and into a deeper internal place to live. We can let our true self shine and experience the bliss that the world provides us each and every day.
Life can hand us opportunities that, in the moment, feel as though the entire world is caving in; however, if we learn to breathe through those moments, we can find a better balance of life and living once balance has returned. Whether we are on or off our mats, the art of living yoga embodies every reaction we engage with to every situation that has entered our life. What can you implement today, to bring more balance to your life?
Some changes can look 'negative' on the surface,
but you will soon realise that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.
- Eckhart Tolle
Justine has had yoga as part of her life for more than 17 years, and teaches from her heart. Her practices are intuitively lead and delivered so that you can really move with your own body to complete your own individual practice. Justine has a passion for restorative yoga, and going slow, but also loves the challenge of remaining deep within your body for a strong vinyasa. She was professionally trained by Sanjay Hacket at Swami Sarasvati’s Yoga Society, where she loves to return for karma yoga service.
Justine believes that there is so much to learn, about ourselves, from mindful stillness. Allowing our bodies time to stop, be present and nourish the connection between body, mind and spirit.
‘Life, and attitude towards it, can change within a single breath’.
Justine teaches face to face classes in the wider Nepean area, NSW and also leads practice twice a week online via zoom.